November 03, 2004
Well, the election's not over, but it's not looking good, either. My feelings can be best expressed by paraphrasing Mortimer Duke:
"Get those voters back in here! Turn those machines back on! Turn those machines back on!"
I stayed up past my bedtime last night to watch the results to come in, and the only good news I got is that Dan Rather is still insane. Last election I was amazed at what came out of his mouth, so this year (at Amy's suggestion), I wrote a few down:
- "This election is hotter than the devil's anvil"
- "In some ways, George Bush's lead is as thin as November ice."
- "Bush is sweeping through the South like a beetle through a cotton field."
- "'It won't mean a thing if they don't get those swing' states"
- "Play a verse of Johhny B. Goode in Illinois for John Kerry"
- The election is "swinging like Count Basie"
- "Only votes talk... everything else walks"
- "George Bush is sweeping through the Midwest like a big combine"
- "We're on these returns like white on rice" (Yes, he actually said that)
- "This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex"
- "We used to say if a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a handgun."
- "As the saying goes, 'Never gamble against strangers, never expect a Democrat in Kansas'"