January 24, 2005

Lost in the Shuffle

I just don't get the iPod Shuffle. This is the first tech product I'm aware of that actually reduced the number of features available, and then based their whole campaign around it. The lack of a screen keeps the cost down -- sure, that's fine. But it's not a "feature," so don't bill it as such.

It seems that no one minds that Apple is pulling the wool over their eyes, as stores are already selling out. I smell money. So to capitalize on this new trend, I've created my own line of Shuffle products.

Presenting "Internet Explorer Shuffle."
With "http://" and "www." all over the place, current web browsers are just too high-tech. Now browse the internet with just one button! Let's just hope that the Jennifer Garner fan site doesn't come up during your big presentation.

... and one of the flagship sites on the new IE shuffle will be "Mapquest Shuffle."
Imagine you're running late for your cousin Leon's wedding in South Jersey, and you need directions. Who has time to type in the full address? Just hit the button (actually, you may have to hit if several hundred times if you're using Internet Explorer Shuffle), and away you go! Sure, the directions might take you to a Bob's Big Boy in Southern Georgia, but that's more fun then being a best man, anyway!

Have you seen remote controls these days? They're getting out of hand. "Channel Up," "Channel Down," who needs all these buttons? So here's "Remote Control Shuffle." Just one button gives you access to all you'll ever need. Since I get over 150 TV channels, imagine the variety of programming I'll be enjoying instead of the show I was trying to find in the first place.

Also, I've created a direct competitor to the iPod Shuffle. In addition to removing the screen, I've removed the headphone jack, buttons, and the USB port. I call it "kPod Imagine"


Simply hold it next to your computer, and all your favorite songs download automatically. Then, when you're out on the road, you can imagine what song is currently playing, and sing along.

I'll be rich.

By the way, here is a picture of my first mp3 player.

In 1998, this thing cost me $70, and it had a screen.

Posted by Kevin at January 24, 2005 04:31 PM

Where can I buy a kPod Imagine? And can I get one with Blue Tooth?

Posted by: CDog at January 24, 2005 05:46 PM

Turn the prius into a "prius shuffle". Just remove the steering wheel. Just gas and brake and see where you end up. You won't even need the navigation system, you can sit back and enjoy a dvd until you get to your destination...where ever that is!

Posted by: Jboz at January 25, 2005 03:47 PM

I though Kevin already experienced the "Prius Shuffle?" :-/

Posted by: Brian Kelly at January 27, 2005 08:31 AM
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