My Tart Will Go On

I hate Pop Tarts. I really do. They start with such a great premise -- pie, for breakfast, how great is that? -- but then completely fall short on the delivery. I fall for them every time I see one, too: "Oooh, Pop tarts! (munch, much) Ugh, Pop tarts..."

I like to imagine that one day at Kellogg's, the guy who hangs drywall collided with the guy from the supply room and had one of those "Hey, you guy rubber cement in my drywall", "Hey, you got drywall in my rubber cement. Wow, this tastes terrible" type moments. A guy from the marketing department happened to be walking by, and a viola! -- the PopTart was born. (Later, someone spilled some glue on a batch, and the icing versions were created.)

I guess Alton Brown experiences the same disappointment I do, since he went and came up with his own recipe for them, which I made this past weekend.

The dough. Adorable, no? Looks like my brain (about the same size, too), but tastier. Although I'll never know for sure...
After I rolled out the dough, cut it up, and added some filling. That, for the record, is too much filling. Most of it later burnt the hell out of my tongue and ended up on my shirt. I'm starting to see why Kellogg's is so stingy with theirs.
Filling #1. Strawberry Rhubarb preserves, made by the Trappist monks. Good to see these monks are doing something productive. Not like those lazy ones who just pray all the time.
Filling #2: Raspberry Jam. With a name like Smucker's, it's got to be good. Also, 90% seeds. (Still tasty, though)
Putting a lid on it. Looks like a big ravioli, doesn't it?
After the first bake. Just like Pop Tarts, they don't brown until you toast them. Unlike Pop Tarts, they're not terrible once you do.
One of the wonkier-looking ones, toasted. It may look like a cheese calzone, but it tastes more like a raspberry one. Good stuff.

I was going to attempt some icing, but these were pretty gosh darned good without any.

It felt good to restore the good name of Pie for Breakfast. And I have a few more culinary adventures up my sleeve, so stay tuned.